What it's like
by White Okami
Summary: Ryuko's thoughts on the murder of her father. Her motivation (sort of) on figuring out why her father was killed. Hope you guys enjoy. Rated T just in case.


**_What it's like_**

Ryuko walked slowly out of the house, rubbing the palm of her hand against her forehead, wiping away sweat and the smokey remains on her face of the fire that had consumed her house.

She blinked harshly, trying her best not to tear up. Her father had just died.

Ryuko clenched her fist. She wiped her other hand against her eye, then looked on with resolution. She knew what she was going to do.

She turned around to look at her house once more. She watched the flames of the fire build up ever more. Hopping onto her motorcycle, she compared the house's fire to the one burning in her heart. There was no comparison.

She had to know why.

* * *

Beating up on yet another pathetic punk, Ryuko leaned against her guitar case, watching the small pile of estrogen fueled teenagers climb all over each other as they tried to escape her wrath.

This had been the fifth school that she'd raided, looking for her father's murder, and it was another bust.

She'd gotten a lead on a more prestigious school from one of her birdies. She hoped that she could get more clues from this one than she'd had at the previous ones.

* * *

There was definetly something fishy going on. Why was there a school so well thought out, and yet so cruel and socially inept?

Ryuko thought more about the hierarchy of Honnoji Academy. The school president had to know something about her father. Why was she leading her on, otherwise?

There was really no other option. She had found her father's final gift to her, no matter how embarrassed she felt whenever she wore it.

Ryuko had to delve deeper to find out the mystery behind her father's killer. They may not have been close, but she knew that there must've been a reason behind it. It must be important! Otherwise she wouldn't have been kicked out of her own home so young. Ryuko's father had been researching something, and it must be that someone else didn't like it.

Her father was an important person. Her father was dead. She had to do something.

* * *

_Why_? How could a blond like that girl possibly be her father's murderer. She wouldn't answer any of Ryuko's questions. She must be crazy, off her knockers, bonkers, something! She had to figure out more.

There was something there between that girl and the president, too. They seemed to have a conversation, however brief. It must be important somehow.

Maybe they knew each other when they were younger? Maybe she wasn't thinking hard enough. The blond had specifically provoked her. How'd she even know about Ryuko? Why was it so hard to imagine what could possibly make the girl want to commit a felony against her father?

Her father had enemies, after all. Ryuko knew that much. Maybe he'd fought them off as long as he could, but this one finally got him? Why did her father die? Why?

* * *

Such a revelation. She was a monster. Ryuko struggled through the people trying to stop her. She had to meet this mother of hers properly, at least once. The president was gone. She wasn't so strong after all. Her minions tried their hardest.

There was no way they could win. She knew because she wasn't fighting for them. She was fighting for herself. Such a selfish thing to do. How could she help it? Her father's last gift to her wasn't as much of a monster as she was.

She was a half-breed, an enigma. If she didn't die in this fight, trying hard to kill her father's killer, what would she have to live for? Her friends? Her _sister_? Ryuko was foolish.

And very, very, selfish.

* * *

An enigma, certainly. Being controlled like that, watching her wedding with a faceless man, looking as she had. It just wasn't her. She had to escape. Be free.

But it was so easy, so comfortable to just stay within her mind, never trying harder than she needed to. Never having to do anything anymore.

Why? Why, because her sister was free. If she died, no one'd care, right? She was just a teen with some messy hair with a red streak, and a freak. That's what she was, wasn't it? A freak? A monster?

Be free.

* * *

Being cut in half wasn't the most pleasing experience, but joining together with so much life fiber essence was hard to control. It was pleasing to see herself being able to fly, and defeat her evil, monster, mother.

Her evil, monster, mother, who was as much a half-breed as she was.

Except her mother accepted it. Her mother had a choice. Her mother chose to go down the wrong road, chose to be evil and kill her second-born child like it was merely a game. A game of life or death, perhaps.

Her mother was an evil monster. Maybe she'd been brain-controlled by the fibers to destroy humanity as they knew it, trying to be the best in all of the races.

But her father's gifts to her were gone. Gone, gone, gone. She had no more hope of recovering them then the life fibers had of defeating them. Ryuko was unloved, for a short while. In her free fall, her gift saved her life, and killed itself in the process. It took a lot of courage to not cry then, but even more to cry.

Being caught by her sister was nice. She knew how it felt to be loved. What it's like.


End file.
